Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tika's fading.....or not?

Lots of tears. Maybe I am overreacting I don't know. I feel like she has never rebounded from our last trip. Maybe it was the inhaled chemo. Maybe it was overexertion. But the fact remains, baby girl isn't doing well.

It's been building up but she hasn't been eating, she's visibly lost weight. She's not vomiting, but everything goes right through her.

Today she was very weak, everything was unacceptable to her. I didn't know what to do. We talked to the vet who suggested an antinausea drug. It might take a few days for it to kick in, but I thought okay, let's try. We are discussing stopping the Palladia.

Later on, I finally got her to eat. Boiled chicken. No scent to it. She's hungry, but if she smells something, she's immediately turned off. I was delighted that she ate the boiled chicken, I would dab it in some pumpkin and cottage cheese to get her more calories.

She had been digging at her eyes, I noticed that they are both horribly infected, green goo coming from both. Where did that come from? What does that mean?

I took a sick day today, I spent my time tending to Tika and running upstairs to lay down and cry.

She seems to be getting better, the food is staying in her and not immediately coming out the other end. That's good, she needs the nutrition, I boiled some ground beef in little balls and she thought that was awesome.

I hope she pulls through this, it's been a bit of a strain on the spouse and I and we are taking it out on each other, that's not helping anything.

However, it brings to the forefront the stark reality that our beautiful girl is dying. And that reality rips my heart apart.

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