Sleepless nights

I am usually crashing out by 9pm now. I sleep about 3-4 hours before the nightmares begin.

They are usually very weird and disjointed, and I can't remember when I wake.

Then I lay there thinking, is Tika still alive? Is she in pain? And I'm afraid of getting up for fear that she may have passed away.

I finally get up and check on her, and she's been okay. But usually it takes me another hour to try to get back to sleep.